Inside, Outside
by Elsium.Awaits
Summary: Trill is just a normal happy demigod on the outside. But inside she is a whole new person that nobody knows and have only seen snippits of. She has been through so much and has so much left to get through. Will she cope or will she break? Rated T purely because I am a very paranoid person!
1. Chapter 1

Inside, Outside.

Please tell me he's going to be early. Please be early. It so lonely in here. Please, please, please be early. Come on, be early! Then, I hear a knock on the door. As I am slowly walking over to the door, I compose myself. As soon as I open the door, I am swept off my feet. Literally. I am being held like a mother holds a baby.

"J, I have missed you so much!"

"I have missed you too Trill!"

Jeremy is my boyfriend, and he has been for five years. We all call him J for short. He has been on a quest recently so I havn't seen him in two months and that is a long time as we both all years rounder's at camp. He is a son of Nyx which means we go quite well you know like Night and Death, both pretty well suited to each other. Dark and usually feared.

We plant a kiss on one another's lips and hold it there until two of my other friends turn up. The two Ares kids in our little group. Rachel and Seeley. Rachel is a tall, slim, muscular girl with long brown hair. She is probably the strongest in her cabin. Although she is one of the youngest. She is 17 so one of the oldest is out group of friends. Seeley is 16. He is very muscular but doesn't like to hurt people ironically. His short brown hair is a few shades darker than his skin. He is very protective, especially over Rachel as they are both children of Ares and they are very close friends.

"Jeremy! You're back! Wait, does that mean Mikey's back aswell?" Rachel exclaimed. Rachel has been dating Mikey a son of Hestia for about 2 years now. They complement each other perfectly. Mikey has a very short temper but when he loses it, he tends to just shout however, Rachel only loses her temper over something that is worth it like if someone hit one of her friends or a fellow child of Ares and if she loses her temper because of you well, good luck mate. But the rest of the time, she is fairly calm so she can usually calm Mikey back down again. They are both tall however Mikey is slightly taller that Rachel and I think she likes that as not a lot of people are taller than her.

"Yeah he's back and he is all in one piece!" Jeremy says as he is putting me down. Then Rachel runs off, presumably to find Mikey.

"Nice to see you again mate!" Seeley says as he wraps his arm around Jeremy's torso, for a Ares kid, he is very intimate!

Then we heard shouting over the hill. We can tell who it is straight away. There are two people shouting, one in a high pitched happy shout, the other a very moody shout, probably shouting at the other person. It is Temperance and Hayley daughters of Hestia. They are total opposites of each other. Temperance is the typical daughter of Hestia, loving and caring. She is also very hyper, a lot of the time. However Hayley is the owner of the very moody shout. She is the stereotypical teenager. Moody. But she can be nice and funny once you get to know her!

We see Temperance first. She is running up to us and Hayley is trailing behind. Temperance's ginger, long curly hair stands out among Hayley short brown hair. Temperance runs up and jumps on Jeremy's back so he essentially giving her a piggy back.

"J! Your back! Yay! I saw Mikey before! Now the whole gangs back together again." Temperance starts shouting.

"Tempy get down! J must be tired he really doesn't need you climbing on him!" Hayley shouts, "Good to see you though J!"

"Yeah missed you both too! Now I think we should all go to the sword training area an meet everyone there!" We all agree on that and start to head down, me on Jeremy's back, Hayley scuffing her feet and Seeley and Temperance running in front.

When we get there we see two girls and two boys. It is Rachel and Mikey and Lance and Bliss. Lance and Bliss are both children of Aphrodite. Lance is a pale boy with blonde hair that sits perfectly in a quiff on the front of his head safely wrapped in a coat of hair gel. Bliss' light brown skin makes her bright blue eyes stand out like a huge stuffed bear in a toy shop. Her shoulder length dark brown hair is platted down her back. Lance tends to get on the nerves of Rachel and Seeley, its partly because of a cabin rivalry but mainly because he can be very irritating and self indulged!

Once all the congratulating and hugging is done, we all sit round in a circle and just talk like old times. I am holding Jeremy's hand when Thalia Grace daughter of Zeus walks past. My whole body stiffens and my grip tightens of Jeremy's hand. I start shaking.

"Trill, Trill are you okay? Trillare! Trillare are you okay? Trillare Stansie Brunetta Vita Di'Angelo are you okay?" Jeremy begins to shout. Tears run down my face but I don't move. I am too scared to move. Once Thalia has gone all the way down the path and entered the big house I relax.

"I'm... I'm okay... I'm sorry... so sorry." I say wiping away my tears. I feel a hand on my shoulder but I don't know who's it is. All my friends are in front of me. When I turn around I see him. The murderer. The person who took away my last relative. Percy Jackson son of Poseidon.

"Trillare are you okay?" He asks me but I smack his hand away.

I stand up and back away from him.

"Don't ever touch me!" I shout to him. He seems shocked. "Just, just, don't ever come near me again, ever." I start to cry and I run away back to my cabin. I hear Jeremy telling Percy he doesn't know what that was all about and that he is sorry. I think to myself, _don't say sorry to him, he doesn't deserve it! _There is a knock on my door and it is Jeremy.

"Trill, what the Hades was that all about, why did you flip!" He shouts.

"Jeremy you don't know what everybody else knows. Or the extra thing I know." I shout back through my tears. I walk over to the door and just hug him as soon as the door is big enough for us both to get through, which isn't very wide since we are both very scrawny. We go and cuddle on my bed for a bit in silence. Then Jeremy breaks it like a hammer hitting a piece of glass.

"Trill? Where is Nico?" He says very slowly and suspiciously. And with that I burst into tears. I cry for about 2 hours and then I finally tell Jeremy what happened.

"Well Nico, Percy, Annabeth and Grover all went on a quest to help your quest as you had been away for a long time. They went on a boat and something on that boat caused it to explode. That is most of what everybody else knows however Grover told me everything, he felt I deserved to know. Percy grabbed everyone bar one person. And took them too shore. But he forgot someone and only remembered when he got to the shore and it was too late by then." I say through tears.

"And that one person was Nico?" Jeremy says suddenly realising what happened. I nod and tell Jeremy not to tell anyone as nobody else knows. They just think he is missing. Nobody wants to tell them and Percy doesn't want anybody to know it was his fault. Jeremy hugs me again and we are both crying. We were all very close. Present tense. Because although he is never coming back, I still love him so much. When we have both consoled each other. We step back outside and run back down to the others playfully pushing each other pretending nothing happened. The other guys all obviously assume we made out but are pretending they don't think that. They are not exactly children of Apollo when it comes to acting! We all get up and walk to Zeus's fist. We follow our usual route to our secret spot. It is a beautiful cliff overlooking a clean lake that shines like a diamond in the sunlight. We have dived off it before and we have missed. But I hate everything about it. Water and heights. Heights because its Zeus' domain, we will come to that later and water because I have never been taught to swim and now my twin has drowned! I always sit as far from the edge as possible. Today is no different. We sit as normal. With me as far away from the cliff and the Ares kids as close to the cliff. But before I know it, two other kids I don't know are dangling me off the side of the cliff whilst some others I don't know are holding my friends off. They are all masked so I can't see them. Suddenly my friends break the two other kids off me without realising they are the only people that are holding me up. I don't know if I am happy or not that I missed the water. It was a harder more painful landing but to be honest, anything beats water for me right now!

Red spots are dancing in my eyes as I hear distant shouting. I hear footsteps getting closer. I just want to shout for them to leave me. That this is what I want. But I can't speak. I manage to shake my head but nobody gets the message. They pick me up and carry me back any way. I hate it. It hurts but I can't tell them that. They must think I am unconscious but I am not. Why can't they see that. I put all my will power into saying these three words, "Leave me please." But they all ignore me anyway and the spots in my eyes slowly take over.


	2. Chapter 2

I awaken on a bed. I am still unsure of where I am. Everything is blurry. I can make out faces around me. I think I see Nico, but it was just another fuzzy shadow. My eyes start to focus when I notice her. Its Thalia. I feel myself tense again and hear voices speaking to me that sound like the speaker has a blanket wrapped around their mouth. They must know who I am looking at.

"Hey, Trill, you're in the infirmary, do you remember what happened?" Although the voice is echoey, I still knows its Jeremy. No, not the infirmary. Too many bed memories. I can see it all happening again. No. No. No! When I open my eyes again I am in the underworld. I like the underworld. I like the dark and how small it is. I like the fact it is filled with souls and monsters. It just feels like home. The only place I belong. I am one of those ghosts, travelling endlessly. The only place I can stay for a long time is the Underworld. I couldn't stay in that infirmary. Reminds me too much of the hospital I went when she died.

I try to get up but wince and immediately fall back to the floor. My leg hurts. A lot. I find a jagged piece of rock piercing it. I grab the rock and have a few deep breaths. Then, I quickly pull the piece of rock from my leg. It hurt a bit sure but I'm kind of used to pain. After well, what used to happen.

I try to get up again and this time I succeed. I walk to the River Cocytus, the River of Wailing. I am hoping to find Agatha. If a mortal came to close to the River of Wailing, they would become deeply depressed but as I am a daughter of Hades, it doesn't affect me. Agatha means good. Which suits her perfectly but she doesn't look like the typical good girl. She is always pretty miserable when I am not around but that is what happens why you are a nymph of the River Cocytus. I see her in her blue flowy dress that matches her eyes perfectly. We run up to each other, arms opened. Well she runs to me, I do some strange kind of limp run. We get to each other and entangle each other in a long tight hug. It has been a couple of days since I last saw her. When we pull apart she looks at me and gasps.

"What happened Trill? Are you okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, was pushed off a cliff but apart from that fine. It was high cliff though. And they just dangled me and it was so scary Agatha, it was so, so, so scary. Not the fall or the idea of the fall but just the height itself." I begin to sob. She hugs me again and taps my back whispering ,"Shh, it's okay, were nice and low now, in your dads domain, he can't get anyone in here."

We pull apart, "Do you want some Ambrosia?" She says giggling.

"You will never let that go will you!" I saw also giggling. You see, the thing is that because I am a child of Hades and Hades is well, excluded from the Gods, Ambrosia will never work for me and will only do me more damage. She begins to ask about the fall. She asks if it was scary to which I simply reply, "Which bit? The dangle, the fall or the pain?" she then asks all of them to which I reply, "I am not afraid of pain, it has been a major part of my life so I am kind of used to it. The fall well, I am not afraid of death because well, he is my dad. But the dangle, that was scary because of my fear of heights ever after the Zeus incident with... with... my... my mum." I say beginning to cry again.

"Hun, can you please tell me what happened?" Agatha asks for the hundredth time, I am a very closed off person. People think they know me but they don't.

"Right but that is all your getting! Back in Venice in Italy, in the 1970's, we were in our family home, my evil step dad was at work preparing for the war. Bianca, Nico and I were all in the living room and my mother was in the Kitchen. Maria Di'Angelo. We were pretty poor, so it was only a small house with little furniture. Suddenly, we saw a huge flash of white light. Before we knew it, us three children we surrounded in a wall of solidified shadow that we had raised due to fear. We were confused but once the light had gone and it was all over the wall disappeared and we ran to the kitchen. Our mother was lay on the floor. Breathing but only weakly. That was the first time I saw somebody's life aura fade and it certainly wasn't the last. Bianca and Nico ran outside to get help and I stayed with my mother. Watching her life aura fade. We accompanied her to the hospital. It looked like the infirmary at camp-half blood. And I sat with her, whilst the people around tried their best to help her. I remember hearing a deafening ringing in my ears and I turned around and told everyone she was dead. They were baffled, I hadn't even checked her pulse or breathing but I knew what that ringing meant, it meant someone close to me has died. That is the reason I can't go in the infirmary at camp. I later learnt it was a lightning bolt that killed my mother. Zeus' lightning bolt. I havn't trusted a child of Zeus since. I can't even look at them without remembering that night. It is the same with heights because it's his domain. But you know what, I am over it. I am over my mother's death. I don't let it drag me down because she wouldn't want to drag me down." I don't begin to cry I simply smile and Agatha seems shocked. I don't think she really expected it to be anything major, something like Zeus and my mum had a fling and he broke her heart. Some typical film thing. Unfortunately, when Greek mythology is in your life, it's very unlikely anything remotely normal will ever happen again. I also think she expected me to cry and moan and complain about it not being fair. It is as that moment I hear a familiar booming voice.

I obey its orders to go to the throne room. There I see my father sitting on him throne wearing all black with a scowl on his face, like he is disgusted to see me. He probably is. I stand there with a straight face in silence for a few minutes until he says, "Hello again... erm... Tiller?" With this I let out a sigh. Bianca was always my dads favourite and when she died, Nico took that spot. I don't know why. Me and Nico were twins. We were always exactly the same. We even looked near enough the same. But my father never cared about me. He doesn't even know my name.

"It's Trillare." I say in my usual strong Italian accent.

"What is your full name though, it's something long and weird isn't it." I have to bite my lip at this to stop me screaming or crying. My mother named me. She chose those names and he claims to have loved her yet doesn't even know the names she chose for her kids.

"Trillare Stansie Brunetta Vita Di'Angelo." I reply through gritted teeth.

"Hm... Nico really did have the better name didn't he... Nico Ghetto Ignacio Nari Di'Angelo, there is a nice to ring to it isn't there." They are both about as catchy as names with three middle names can get! Why doesn't my father care about me? What have I done wrong this time! Last time a father figure stopped caring for me, I had well been a kid that wasn't his and he didn't like.

I turn around and walk out of the throne room. You are supposed to wait until you are given permission to leave but right now, I don't care about the rules. As I walk away I wave goodbye to Agatha and slip into the shadows.

I reappear in my cabin. I know nobody will be worried about me or looking for me so I begin to cry. This has became a regular thing, it is hard to pretend everything is okay when it is really not. The main reason I am crying this time is because of my father. My stupid dad sliding Nico back in to the conversation every five minutes and comparing us over everything, even names. And him knowing Nico's full name and not even knowing my first name. I hear a knock and it is Jeremy asking if I am back. I splash my face with cold water then go out to see him. I plant a kiss on his lips as soon as my door is open wide enough. He seems pretty angry right now,

"Where did you go!" He shouts.

"I went to the Underworld, I just had to get out of that infirmary, you don't understand why but one day you might. It complicated." I calmly say back.

"I was so worried! You really need to get checked out! Where did you go in the Underworld? Wasn't your father concerned about you? And why do you keep going weird whenever Thalia walks past?" Jeremy bombards me with these questions.

"I went to the underworld and my friends Agatha, River Nymph or the River of Wailing, and she helped heal me. That kind of explains where I went as well. My father doesn't even know my first name yet he knows Nico's full name, he really didn't care. And, Jeremy, I have already told that story once today and I don't think I am ready to tell it again." I explain. He seems to understand. He doesn't mind that I am a very closed of person. I guess so much has happened I dear talking about it will only remind me of the pain. Oh what pain it was though. We hug each other to show we are no longer arguing or asking questions. We begin to walk to our dining tables, where I will once again sit alone. When we get there, Chiron looks saddened and tells us that he has news, "We have receive a message, " He boomed, "from Poseidon. Nico's body has been found. I am afraid that he will not be walking among the living again, only with the souls. We have also received news from Hades that Nico is in Elysium with his mother but will not be able to communicate with the living again. Not even fellow children of Hades.".

I slam my fist on the table and I stand up and I scream, "NO!" at the top of my lungs and run back to my cabin with tears running down my face.


	3. Chapter 3

I slam the door behind me. I lock it and slam myself on the bed. I bury my face in my pillow and scream. I already knew it. I had began to get over it but there was always the hope in the back of my head that it may not be true. However, now it has been confirmed. By my dad and my uncle. It feels as if I am Pandora's box and someone finally let Elpis, the spirit of Hope out. I stop crying for a moment and put some of Nico's favourite classical music on. I go into the bathroom and splash my face with cold water. I then walk over to the door, now looking like I never cried, and open it. It is Jeremy, Mikey, Hayley, Temperance, Lance, Rachel, Bliss and Seeley. I am so lucky to have friends like them. Right now, they are the only family I have and for that I will be internally grateful. I tell them I am fine and they believe me, probably because I am always "okay". We all have a giant group hug like we used to. We go on pretending nothing happened because they know by now that I am a very closed off person and I do not like to talk about my feelings. I will tell you this though, one day I am going to snap Percy Jackson in half like a twig just not yet, Nico wouldn't want that.

We are out all day like old times, only this time, the conversations seem to be pretty deep. At one point there was a mention of fire. As soon as I heard that word, I went pale. They asked what was wrong, they were expecting a no because that is the usual response but I decided to tell them this once because I felt like they deserved to know, "After my mother was killed by Zeus, there was only Bianca, Nico and I left of the Di'Angelos. We didn't want to be separated or asked any questions about our mother so we ran away. We continued going to the same school but just claimed we were living with our Aunt who was elderly so could hardly leave the house. We were actually just living wherever we could without be obviously seen and he couldn't find us, my step-dad. So, it was about six months after my mother was killed and we went into school. It was just like any other day me and Nico were always together because we were twins. Bianca we well-liked among the others, unlike us. On this particular day, Bianca had been taken out of school to learn how to cook, Nico was learning how to mine because that is what they taught the boys and I was inside learning how to sew. It was one of the few times I was separated from Nico. It was a good job as well because before I knew it the whole room I was in was on fire, I was surrounded by the same dome that had protected me from Zeus but I could hear the constant ringing in my ears. The ringing from when someone I know dies. It was just ringing and ringing and everywhere I looked I could see people dying and their life auras fading. I was the only one who survived. I wasn't completely unscathed though but Nico and Bianca luckily were. It was then that we were taken to the Lotus Casino." I couldn't believe I just said all that, the others were around me saying the classic stuff like "You poor thing" or "I'm so sorry, I never knew". Until one person asked what everybody else wanted to know and I am thankful for it.

"So you know how you said you weren't completely unscathed... how were you actually injured then because you have no scars or anything." Hayley said. That was classic Hayley, she avoided all the sympathy stuff and just asked the stuff she wanted to know.

"You're telling me none have you have wondered why I have always walked with a strange limp!" I say as I roll up my trouser leg showing my prosthetic leg. I laugh at that because the last thing I want is more Gods dam sympathy!

It begins to get dark and we all head back to our cabins. I don't tend to sleep that much because I quite like the dark. I get a knock on my door. I open it and see Jeremy, he has a blank expression on his face and just comes towards me. He punches me in my jaw. I see immediately someone has done something because my Jeremy wouldn't hurt a fly.

"J, J it's me, I love you, it's okay, don't worry. " I try to calm him down but he just kicks me in the head.

"J, remember when we first met. On that beautiful beach and you came up to me and asked me why I was fully dressed and you spent the whole time trying to get me to go for a swim." He hits me again.

"And it started to rain so we ran for cover and ended up in that crazy shop and we bought a ice cream for the fun of it and we forgot about the rain and stepped out and our ice-creams were ruined but we ate them anyway." He turns around and grabs a knife. I try not to show that I am panicked. Or show any emotion for that matter, well, apart from smiling. I grit my teeth and smile as I talk.

"Jeremy, don't do this, I love you. I forgive you, for everything, because... because well, this isn't you. This isn't J, this is just some drone being controlled my someone else." I start to sob, no longer being able to hold it all in anymore. He stabs the blade into my gut and I pull it out and throw it under the bed so he can't get to it. I place my hands on the crimson red river now pouring from my gut. I then grab Jeremy's hands. It must have been the blood on my hands that shocked him back to reality. He looks down at me.

"Trill! Trill what the Hades happened!" He exclaims. I avoid his gaze for a moment as he looks down at his fist. Its bruised like my jaw and his shoes are scuffed from kicking me. He starts to hyperventilate his eyes welling up, looking guilty.

"J, J! You're back! It's okay, I forgive you! Someone wiped your mind and started to take over but the blood... it brought you back. It's okay just don't tell anyone. They won't understand and nobody is going to take me to that infirmary!"

"Wha... wha... what have I done! Oh no. Oh no. Who made me do that? Gods bless whoever it was because I will go Kronos on them." Jeremy said with his eyes welling up, gently placing his hand on my gut wound. Almost as if to check it was real.

"Jeremy. Jeremy! Calm down! Look at me. Actually, go tell Chiron what happened, he may be able to help you figure out who is was and what exactly happened, but just say you only hit me. Do. Not. Mention. The. Stab. Please Jeremy, I can't handle any more hassle or infirmaries or anything. Especially not today." I beg him. He agrees. He stays with me for another hour until the bleeding seems to have stopped and I can successfully change. We then both go, hand in hand, to talk to Chiron about what happened.

We spend about an hour telling Chiron what happened. Its mainly Jeremy who talks because my jaw hurts too much. After that, Chiron says he is going to start questioning children of Hecate because only they are actually capable. We step out of the big house and I can immediately see Rachel sat curled up in a ball on a nearby patch of grass. Tears soak her skin. We go up and speak to her for about an hour again. Mikey cheated on her. With some girl from Aphrodite. Eventually Rachel calms down and tells us that she doesn't care. She also admits that she has had a bit of a thing for Henry, son of Nemesis for a while now. Then, Rachel runs off to go and find Henry.

I then offer to take Jeremy to the Underworld, to have a peaceful walk like we used to. He agrees and I take his hand. When I next open my eyes, we are in the Underworld again. I tug at J's sleeve and tell him I have someone for him to meet. We walk hand in hand to the River Cocytus. Agatha is sat on the bank alone. I slowly creep up to her and grab her shoulders, making her jump. She shoots up and immediately asks what happened. I explain the situation fully, I can trust Agatha not to make a fuss because she knows what I am like.

"Oh! Agatha, this is Jeremy. Jeremy, this is Agatha." I say suddenly remembering they didn't know each other and making sure she doesn't go on about the injuries at all.

"Wait a minute! Is this the famous lover boy J?" Agatha says and I playfully punch her arm. I am desperate not to be noticed by my dad. Too late.

A familiar booming voice says, "Child, come to the throne room." I sigh. I then grab Jeremy and Agatha's arms and drag them with me. I am not going alone. Especially not after what happened today.

"Hm... you are... nope, it is gone. Your name was never as catchy as Nico Ghetto Ignacio Nari Di'Angelo was it." Hades booms.

"Trillare Stansie Brunetta Vita Di'Angelo." I say in as much as a dull monotone voice a strong Italian accent can get to.

"Oh yeah. Hm... Trillare Stansie Brunetta Vita Di'Angelo, what a strange, strange name. Anyway, what are you doing here, have you came to steal from me."

"No father, I havn't came to steal, I came for a nice walk so if you don't mind, I will be excused." And with that, I walk out of the throne room without looking back. Jeremy comes up to me shocked about my dad not even knowing my first name yet knowing Nico's full one. He then also comments on how he always forgets quite how long my name is.

We sit down on a piece of land. I lie down in the middle of the others and I recite an old saying my mother used to tell me as a child, I have to translate it to English for him though, it does sound nicer in Italian.

"Anche i migliori vini, girare a aceto. E il pane migliore, si trasforma in muffa. Ma il più piccolo, gemma più brutto, può essere trasformato in bellissimi gioielli con il tocco di qualcuno che si preoccupa veramente." I say, I love speaking in Italian, it is my main language, the language I grew up with, I then repeat in English for Jeremy and Agatha, "Even the best wines, turn to vinegar. And the best bread, turns to mould. But the smallest, ugliest gem, can be turned into beautiful jewellery with the touch of someone who really cares.".


	4. Chapter 4

We all sit on the wall, bar Mikey. He is always late to meet up with us all. I can see him in the distance. I can see that Rachel can as well, I can see the anger building up in her eyes. She is sat to the right of me and Jeremy on the left. I grab Rachel's hand in an attempt to calm her down. She leaves it there, I can hear her breathing heavily trying to calm herself down but when he is stood in front of us, searching for a place to sit, she can't keep it in.

"You lying, cheating, disgusting bastard!" She screams as she approaches him and grab the front of his shirt pulling it so she is looking in his eyes. "I loved you, I shared everything with you. What a waste it was on a worthless son of a bitch like you." She says is a slow, steady pace that sounds calm yet sarcastic and menacing. When she finishes her sentence, she swings a punch and hits Mickey straight in the face, breaking his nose. She then kicks him in the stomach whilst he is on the ground for good measure. She then turns round, passionately kisses Henry, flips her hair and grabs his hand and sits back on the wall right where they were, to the right of me.

Mickey hobbles off to the Apollo cabin to get medical help, he isn't actually injured badly, he is just playing the guilt card. I will tell you one thing, it isn't working. Then somehow, the day continues as usual but with Henry filling Mikey's role but a lot friendlier than Mikey ever could. We are saying goodbye, getting ready to go back to our cabins when I get a splitting headache. I feel the grass stroke my arms and legs as I fall the ground clasping my head in obvious pain.

"Trill! Trillare! Are you okay! Oh my Gods what is happening." Jeremy shouts noticing me before the others.

"Something very bad is going to happen... I can feel it. Warn the camp." I say through gritted teeth. Everyone bar Jeremy runs off. Rachel heads straight for Chiron, she knows as much as me about it, which is more than the others. J stays there quietly talking to me, trying to figure out what is happening but I don't know. I just know it is something we don't exactly want to happen.

Half an hour later, I am sat up hugging my knees across my chest, the pain in my head isn't as bad anymore but it still hurts, a lot. Chiron gallops up and explains that a few minutes after my friends told him about what I said, an army of giants attacked camp. They got through the barrier. Luckily the camp had been able to get prepared and took them out within a few minutes.

"Trillare, we really need to know if anything has happened to you that you havn't told us about, It might help us to work out what happened to you just then." Chiron explains.

"I really don't know, not much really happens to me." I reply.

"Trillare Stansie Brunetta Vita Di'Angelo! Something must have happened, you are very good at hiding things but we need to know now what happened when you were younger." Chiron snaps. Italian names don't sound so good when they are said without any hint of an Italian accent, just saying.

"I died." I sigh. Everybody looks confused so I explain. "When I was younger, about five to be exact, this whole army of big, ugly men, who I now know were Giants, came up to me. They told me that they had been sent by Zeus to destroy Bianca, my twin brother and I. I fought back. I was only young and weak but managed to take out the entire army but one. I was so exhausted that I could no longer fight. He sent his sword straight through my heart, I remember falling to the floor and feeling the rocky surface hit my body. The next thing I know, I was in the Fields of Asphodel. However, when my mother died, Hades still loved her and she asked for one final request, which he obviously agreed to. Her wish was for me to return to the mortal world, at the age of 7 which is the age I would have been if I didn't die. Hades granted this wish and all of a sudden, I was out of the Fields of Asphodel and I was sprawled on the floor of my family home in Italy. Yeah, so, that is how I died and came back to life." Wow. Now I have really confused everyone. I can see the cogs working in their brains trying to decipher what I just said. One person gets it and doesn't make a big fuss out of it. Rachel, she already knew it all but pretended she didn't anyway.

"That is pretty cool dude! We should get some ice cream for you not still being dead!" Rachel exclaims. She grabs my arm even though I am still curled up on the ground and drags me off to the Hermes cabin to try and get some ice-cream. Seriously though, what do they not have in the Hermes cabin. Myles for one. It's about time I should tell you about how I got to camp. Well, how Rachel, Myles, Nico, Bianca and I got to camp. We could have all been related, the only obvious difference was our skin colours, Bianca, Nico and mine being olive because we are Italian and Rachel and Myles' being ghostly white because they are French Canadian. Rachel was Myles' older sister. She was the same age as Bianca, 11 years old. Myles was 10 and me and Nico were 9. Out of us all, me and Nico looked the most similar despite us being different genders. We were identical twins after all. Bianca, Nico and I had just gotten out of the Lotus Casino and found Rachel and Myles. The two main problems were languages and the whole skipping 70 odd years thing. Rachel and Myles were French Canadian. They both had dark hair, Rachel's came down to the bottom of her rib cage and Myles' was cropped short. As they were French Canadian, there main language was French but like us they knew a little bit of English, enough to understand that we were both running away from somewhere. After two months of trying to find where to go, we still couldn't say why we were running away. We had been walking for about six hours as usual and we all found a semi-dry spot and set up for the night there. After we had been there for about an hour, I got a splitting headache and I threw my head onto my knees and grabbed the back of my head, keeping it close to my knees. I told them that I didn't know what was happening but it was bad and that they needed to get prepared and guard the area. Suddenly a large, grotesque creature appeared behind Myles and before we knew it the monster was dust but Myles' body was lying limply and lifelessly on the cold, hard floor. We ran over to him to find a crimson river leading to a single arrow piercing his heart. On that arrow was a note. Directions, to Camp Half Blood. To this day we do not know who took Myles from us. And now, from the five children that met on that street, only two are still alive.

We later found out the reasons for the other one running away. Rachel and Myles were constantly being followed by monsters who were all struck with a single arrow piercing their heart before they could get to Rachel or Myles. They decided to run away because they felt bad and that they were putting everyone the love in danger and they couldn't forgive themselves if one of the monsters got to a family member or friend so they just packed up and left, leaving a note of explanation.

Myles was killed before he was claimed. So although we all just assume he would have been claimed a son of Ares at the same time as his sister, nobody could know for certain so Myles, going off his status when he died, would be in Hermes cabin, that is why we all struggle to go past it, let alone in it.

How we got to camp is an unspoken story. It has never been repeated, like a lot of things. When we get to the door of the Hermes cabin, I turn my head to look at Rachel, her dark brown eyes are watering. Almost simultaneously, we decide to turn and walk away.

We run up to the others crazily. It's not that hard to look really happy and excited when you have my dad's eyes. Jet black with a hint of madman in them. They tend to scare a lot of people, one of the many. When we get back to the others Henry playfully grabs Rachel's headband. Flexible brown sticks twisted together holding beautiful red roses in place. Nobody thinks much of it apart from me.

"Henry, I advise you to give that back to Rachel now." I say in a stern voice as possible but that doesn't bother him. He just carries on messing about and throwing her headband around. I can see the anger building up in her chocolaty eyes.

"Give it back now you bastard!" She screams as she punches Henry in the arm making him drop the headband but it doesn't get to even touch the ground before Rachel grabs it using her reflexes. That headband meant a lot to her. You know how I said all of the monsters that dared to even come near to her and Myles got shot straight through the heart with a single arrow. Well, each of those arrows had a single blushing rose on the end of it. Rachel, collected these roses. She got 6 in total. When Myles was hit by an arrow. That also had a rose on the end of it, however that one was black. Almost as if whoever shot it aimed at him. Rachel wanted to make a memorial for Myles but one that everybody could see every day but not know who it was for because Myles didn't like attention. So, she made a headband out of all the roses, she used sticks that she twisted together to create a base for the headband and so it could hold in the roses. The then carefully entwined the roses into the sticks so it created a beautiful headband with the black rose dead on centre surrounded by red roses. Rachel wore this everyday as a reminder of her brother and so he would know she is never going to forget him.


	5. Chapter 5

We don't know where we are. All we can see is a small room. The room is all white. By we I mean, Henry, Rachel, Hayley, Temperance, Lance, Bliss, Jeremy and I. We enter the room together. Me grabbing Jays arm. Henry grabbing Rachel's and the brothers and sisters in the group grabbing each other. Inside the room, the walls are no longer walls but screens. Huge screens that cover every inch of wall. There is another door opposite us. It has Henrys name on it. We stand there for about five minutes just looking at it. We eventually come to the conclusion that Henry has to go through the door. As soon as he does, we can see him on the huge screens that surround us. Suddenly the all white room that he walked into changes. It becomes a dark room slowly filling with moths. Lining the roof are bells. Two large bells hover just above the glass ceiling, surrounded by smaller bells. The noises of the bells melt together and create a cacophony worthy of deafening a God. As Henry begins to panic and hit the moths away, people start to surround him. You can see from the way his face blushes that he is embarrassed. Finally, he lets the moths cover his body after screaming for the bells to shut up and that everyone surrounding him is pathetic for judging him. After that, a door appears on the opposite side of the room, he runs to it viciously turns the handle and falls out of the door. It seems this room is accessing your worst fears and putting you through them. Henry gains control of the situation and calms himself down, that is how he got out.

Rachel did it differently though. Her room was filled with pigeons flying and occasionally landing near Rachel, when they did this Rachel panicked and kicked them away. Then a mix of various screams, high and low, long and short. All sound like the screams of those who have been in that room combined and released in one mighty blow. This makes her anxious and I can see Rachel constantly twitching her long, slim body. Then, something appears that make her dark yet vibrant eyes widen with fear. I can't make it out at first. Suddenly Rachel is running alongside Myles, Bianca, Nico and I. It is in the same place that Myles died. I then notice us dropping like flies, all with a single arrow armed with a black rose piercing out hearts. Then, Myles, Nico, Bianca and I are all lay motionless on the floor. That's what Rachel is scared off. Losing her loved ones. Rachel throws her body down next to all of ours. Her pale hand stroking all our dark hair. Then, she stands up, backs off and whispers, "This isn't real." she then shouts at the top of her lungs, "This isn't real!" Then, just like it did for Henry, the door appears and she stumbles through it, shaking. It is then I realise there is several different ways to exit the room of hell.

Hayley went in next. Her worst fears turned out to be small spaces, cotton wool and by far the strangest, spoons. She got out by grabbing the cotton wool and the spoons and by squashing her body up even smaller than the shrinking room. She went a step beyond her fears. It was Temperance next, she was terrified to go in the room alone. She faced heights, clowns and Lego. What is it with Children of Hestia being scared of everyday objects? Temperance got out by being friendly and bubbly. Something she excelled at. She went up and hugged the clown and played with the Lego. Lance is up next. Being a son of Aphrodite, I would expect him to freak out but he doesn't. He goes in there and faced with looking awful but beyond awful, I'm guessing it was intended to look like a prank, being laughed at, he is really self conscious surprisingly. The room he is in is filled with flies. He just closes his eyes, let the flies land on him and let the laughing grow louder. He just blanked it out and like the others, the glowing door appeared. He ever so slowly and calmly walked through it. It was now Bliss' turn. She already had tears rolling down her face from watching her brother go through that. She expeditiously wiped them from her face leaving a blur on salty tears on her face but she didn't realise I had seen her. Bliss was being held still by a dozen pairs of hands, all over her, meaning she couldn't speak and the only movement she could make was blinking her eyelids. That combined her two worst fears in one. Being touched and not being able to move. Also one of the hands is covering her mouth and the other is holding her nose. She is taking the longest so far. Suddenly she stops fighting against them. In a sudden outburst, she manages to bight the hand covering her mouth and somehow get herself out of that situation and races towards the glowing door. Penultimately, Jeremy's (or Jay as he prefers, you probably guessed that by now) name appears on the door. He squeezes my hand as he leaves me face his fears. He is a total control freak. His fears are losing control, falling apart- no, not the literal kind- and failing something. He manages to take control. To pick himself back up again and correcting whatever he failed. Then the glowing door appears.

Deep breaths. Calm. I step into the room. Water starts to fill the room. Quickly, it reached my ankles. Then the area around me alights with a flame. Then, he appears. Tall, grey and brooding. Olive skin yet light eyes. Half Italian. He is bearing his whip. As he was whenever I saw him, it is the same with Bianca and Nico. He would look at us with those cold, stoney eyes, as he is now. I know what is happening next but my brain is too panicked by the water and fire that it doesn't fully process what is coming next, causing me to yelp when the familiar pain spreads across my back. I am used to it but I was caught so off guard that for a moment, I was too stunned to move. But then it returned to how it used to be, in Italy when we were all living together in that small house. I remember being trapped in the small room and only aloud out for times like this. I begin to hyperventilate, all of these fears are stirring inside of me like a tornado until I finally let it loose. I slam my fist against the glass that is now surrounding me, the water is up to my neck. It shatters into millions of tiny pieces, shining like diamonds as they lay on the dark floor. Then I turn on him. Finally, I can be the one to cause the pain. I continue to walk up to my stepfather. He continues whipping me so I sprint towards him and tackle him to the ground. I kick him and punch him until he in completely knocked out and practically dead because that is what he is to me. As for the fire, the water that came out of the tank when I splashed is put it out. At last, the glowing door appears and I go to run for it but am so shaken I kind of fall through it and curl myself up in the corner of this room with screens for walls.

Inside the next room with screens for walls, Rachel has her arm draped across Henry trying to calm him down as he is crying. We are talking about why our fears were what they were, we all swore to be truthful, I'm guessing this was aimed at me, I have been known to soften the truth, what can I say, I hate sympathy! Henry told us that a moth ate a part of his favourite shirt one day, bells rang at the wedding of him mother, whom he hated and was always scared of embarrassment. Rachel tells the story of Myles, this is the first time any of them have heard it. That explains all of us being killed and she says the screaming reminds her of that day, it did for all of us. The pigeons, well she tells us that one day when she was a baby, she was in her pram and this pigeon landed on her head and started to peck at her. She was laughing but saw how badly her mother reacted that she has been terrified of the ever since. The stories go on like that, funny ones relating to childhood mostly. Like Temperance's fear of Lego, that came from her standing on it once in front of her class and crying, I can understand it now. When it comes to mine, they already know about the fire and the water and I try to pretend like the man wasn't my stepfather and that I was just scared of whips. I nearly got away with it until Rachel shot me a look like none other. If looks could kill. I would die instantaneously. It was equivalent to being stabbed with a sword, I would know. Then with a look of refusal that was nothing compared to the killer stare, I explain about my stepfather. He knew that the three of us weren't his children so he would make sure we know that we know he doesn't care for us. He called me and Nico, "The hell twins" yeah, very fitting. After we had all finished exchanging our stories, another glowing door appeared, this time with the word "exit" written on it. It was white text on a black background so it was obvious this was made for demigods as we are usually dyslexic and white on black is easier for us to read.

We stepped through the door and landed in a pile in Camp Half Blood. Chiron explains to us whist we are still pale-faced that it was the Gods finding out our fears for the "Final Fight". He then doesn't speak anymore of the "Final Fight" which annoys us all but he refuses and claims he will tell us when the time is right, which usually means when we are going to die.

There is a bright light and a big, muscular man appears. The whole lot of Ares campers are in awe. Apart from Rachel, she stands up and screams, "What in Tarturus are you doing here!" Rachel never liked her godly parent. Or her normal parents to be honest. They were nice to her but they were training her to be a "young lady" which is pretty much impossible as she is a daughter of Ares. Rachel now walks with perfect posture which does help her in fighting but will slip out with a very "proper" pronunciation and that mixed with her French accent creates a very strange mix.

"I am not happy about your choice of partner. He isn't strong. He isn't good for you. Break up now." As Ares demands this, I can see the anger building up behind Rachel's dark eyes.

"Je m'en fou (I don't give a f**k) what you think." Rachel says. She has only ever cussed in French. She claims it sounds better but I think it's her "lady" side coming out, it doesn't class as cussing if nobody understands it. She flips her hair and kisses Henry whilst holding up her middle finger to her father. A bright flash appears in front of our eyes and when we are finally able to see again, Ares is gone and Rachel seems pretty happy.


	6. Chapter 6

I miss him. I miss Nico so much. He was the only other Di'Angelo left that I actually liked. My mum was an only child. My grandparents died when I was very young. Then, well, you know the rest. He is in Elsium I can feel it, well he's hanging round with our dad. Being a child of Hades gets you certain priorities in the underworld. I want to be with him. Where Bianca, Nico, my mother and I can be a family again. It can be like it was back in Italy. Tears begin to run down my face.

Its about time I tell you about them now isn't it. I have an older brother. And a younger one. Well did have a younger brother. Abramo. My older brother, Duilio, well, his name alone meant war, he did fit that. He was never "nice" to any of us. Duilio and my stepfather kind of joined forces against us. Although when we ran away from our stepfather after Zeus' attack, he hid from him with us. That didn't stop him though. He still does it. He hit us all. He never stopped. You would have thought after Abramo, he would have stopped. He didn't. With Abramo, he pushed it one step too far. He was less than half of Duilio's age but that didn't stop him. Whilst we also had our stepfather about with only our mother and under our beds for protection, we also had Duilio to worry about. I remember Abramo, Nico and I all being under one of the two beds the five of us shared. I saw Duilio's bare, blistered feet. We couldn't afford shoes, well at least not a pair each. Most kids in our village couldn't so it wasn't anything to be look down upon for. Duilio knew where we were, he wasn't stupid, he crouched down and without looking, he place his hand under the bed and pulled out the first lock of dark, matted hair he touched. Unfortunately this time it was Abramo. He was youngest so we always tried to cover for him. We would take the hits for him as he couldn't. Well, this time, there was nothing we could do. We jumped up from under the bed and begged for Duilio to leave Abramo alone. But instead he hit us all. Nico first, Duilio swung his big, clenched fist straight into Nico's jaw, leaving him unconscious on the floor. Then me, he punched me in the nose, then the stomach and I dropped to the floor like a ton of bricks. Then I watched it happen. I saw Duilio pick up Abramo. He punched him in the gut. Then he started to shake him. I was relieved at first, until the shaking began to get more and more violent and then it stopped. Abramo's body just went limp with his neck bent at an awkward angle. I had just watched my older brother kill my younger brother, who I loved so very much.

So now there is still Duilio. But I hadn't seen him in a while. Until now. The door to my cabin swung open with such force the wall of which it hit cracked. He didn't speak a word. He never did. To me. Instead he simple walked up to me, grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me up to his face so my feet were no longer of the floor, looked me up and down with a look of pure hatred and disgust. He then threw me on to the floor and kicked me. He kicked me about five times maybe. I lost consciousness after the second blow to the head. When I awoke, I was in a puddle of my blood. I stood up and the world was spinning. I sat down on my bed and cried over the loss of all of my family. The sight alone of Duilio reminded me of Abramo.

I have the image of his limp body and crooked neck in my head. I can't do this anymore. The screams from the fire and circling around in my head. I fling my body against the wall in an attempt to take away the pain. It doesn't work. The flashing of the lighting that killed my mother is flashing in front of my eyes. My arm flies out of instinct to grab the knife that is hidden beneath my pillow. The cool bronze metal meets the skin on my wrist and draws a familiar crimson river. The familiar pain is not helping this time. I can't do this. The image of my brother has stained my eyelids, the screams circling my head encasing me in a bubble of sound, the flashing of the lighting preventing me from seeing things clearly. I hear the door open just underneath the sounds of the screams. I can work out that it must be Jeremy. He frantically runs up to me but I scream "Stop!" before he gets to me. He stops dead in his tracks. He can see the knife and the river pouring from my wrist but he can't see or hear what I can.

"Jeremy, please, I need to do this. If you knew. If you could see what I can. If you could hear what I can. The screams, the flash of the lighting, his body. You would understand. I can't do this anymore. A smile is a best mask for the pain. But it doesn't mask it from the person themselves. It hurts Jeremy. It hurts to say it. To see it. To think it. It hurts. I don't want to hurt like that anymore. I don't want to hide my pain and the tears and the scars I wear like bracelets. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't. If I do I will only break more and hurt everyone I love. I can't do that. I know this will probably hurt you but it needs to be done, I am so sorry Jeremy, please tell me you can forgive me. Please Jeremy. Ask Chiron to tell you everything. Hopefully you will understand and forgive me. I'm so sorry, I will be waiting for you in the underworld. I love you so much. Jeremy, I am so sorry." As I speak through my tears, I align the knife with my heart. In sword training, you learn just were to hit to get a definite kill. I position it like I learnt. Just before I push the sword in, I say what will be my last words, "I love you." and I push the knife in. I hit the floor and everything goes black.


End file.
